You are always talking to yourself during competition. The only question is whether that voice is helping you or quietly tearing you down. Self talk is one of the most researched mental skills in sport, and the good news is you can coach it the same way a coach would coach you.
The two jobs of self-talk
Useful self talk does one of two things. It instructs, telling your body what to do, "quick feet," "high elbow," or it motivates, keeping you engaged and steady, "you have earned this," "next play." Match the type to the moment. Instructional cues help most while learning or executing a skill. Motivational cues help most when energy or belief dips.
How to build better self-talk
Catch it, then challenge it
You cannot change what you do not notice. For one week, just notice your on field voice. When you catch a harsh line like "you always choke," challenge it with a fairer, more accurate one: "I have made this play a hundred times."
Go short and present
Under pressure your brain has no room for speeches. Trade paragraphs for a single cue word tied to the action. "Smooth." "Attack." "Now." Keep it in the present and keep it positive, because "do not miss" still puts the word miss in your head.
Try third person for tough moments
Research on what psychologists call distanced self talk found that using your own name, "you have got this, Maya," creates a little distance from the panic and helps you think more clearly than "I have got this." It feels odd at first. It works.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a teammate you believe in. You would never say to them half the things you say to you.
Make it a habit
Pick one cue word for your sport this week and attach it to your routine. Reps are what turn a phrase into an instinct.